I would show you all the colours That this secret world will hide

<3 Ross ... Lyrics are amazing!!

Hey guys

I wrote this earlier, its kinda how I have been feeling my whole life soooooo ..
Welcome to my monologue =]

You know when you were younger and you used to race all the children in your year on sports day? Well I always received the 2nd place sticker, You know the one; green, yellow writing, meant to make you feel like you have won even though you really haven't, well I forever wear that sticker. It's like ever since I have been put on this earth I have been born with that sticker etched on my skin, Someone one day just decided I would always be second best and for some reason now thats all I can be ....

Depending on what you guys say about that I may write the rest down ^^
Let me know what you think

I don't know what to say or do
I'm all confused
I'm ill
I'm stressed
I just want everyone to be happy however I know that is never going to happen well not any time soon anyway.

I found a picture today which I drew for my nan when I was like, I don't know 6.
It was like a hidden treasure because I turned it over and it had a note from her, yeah my nan.
Freaky or what?
Sooo I was reading it and smiling to myself when I realized she was actually writing about her illness, how had I completely over looked this letter until now? FATE!

Reading it for like the millionth time still doesn't make it any more real to me.

***********

Sorry my blog is quite boring and not that interesting however it is just my release, my way to let go without physically shouting and swearing at people.
I know it may be dull I just hope the people that read this understand that this is the way I am feeling and I think it is how i will feel for a while.

Thanks for being interested in my life peeps =]
!X!X!!