I would show you all the colours That this secret world will hide

<3 Ross ... Lyrics are amazing!!

Hey guys

I wrote this earlier, its kinda how I have been feeling my whole life soooooo ..
Welcome to my monologue =]

You know when you were younger and you used to race all the children in your year on sports day? Well I always received the 2nd place sticker, You know the one; green, yellow writing, meant to make you feel like you have won even though you really haven't, well I forever wear that sticker. It's like ever since I have been put on this earth I have been born with that sticker etched on my skin, Someone one day just decided I would always be second best and for some reason now thats all I can be ....

Depending on what you guys say about that I may write the rest down ^^
Let me know what you think

I don't know what to say or do
I'm all confused
I'm ill
I'm stressed
I just want everyone to be happy however I know that is never going to happen well not any time soon anyway.

I found a picture today which I drew for my nan when I was like, I don't know 6.
It was like a hidden treasure because I turned it over and it had a note from her, yeah my nan.
Freaky or what?
Sooo I was reading it and smiling to myself when I realized she was actually writing about her illness, how had I completely over looked this letter until now? FATE!

Reading it for like the millionth time still doesn't make it any more real to me.

***********

Sorry my blog is quite boring and not that interesting however it is just my release, my way to let go without physically shouting and swearing at people.
I know it may be dull I just hope the people that read this understand that this is the way I am feeling and I think it is how i will feel for a while.

Thanks for being interested in my life peeps =]
!X!X!!

His smile holds it's own So caring and sweet But still he never sees, How her heart seems to beat

For some reason I have a huuuge love for this song at the moment ^^

I am so hungry and need to eat



************

YouMakeMeSmile .... xx Ross

His smiles not right,
But the jawline is there
He stands the same way
And has the same ruffled hair
For tonight she can take him,
To still the desire of her heart,
because she knows she can have him,
but it breaks her apart...

His eyes don't hold the blue
Not the depth that she needs
His souls is too shallow
As he looks and he pleads
He's not as perfect
As what she desires
But for now she shall take him,
In that bed they're both liars

His smile holds it's own
So caring and sweet
But still he never sees,
How her heart seems to beat
And how she breathes
Her love when he turns away
Or hears what she needs to say
And the others just don't compare

*These nights without him never cease
And the one night stands never ease
The feeling of loss never subsides
Every day a small part of her dies
But still she want's him to see her
for the woman she is
And hold her so tightly
And embrace that first kiss

His smiles not right,
But the jawlines there
He stands the same way
And has the same ruffled hair
For tonight she can take him,
And stay there for a while
She still lies beside him
lying through her false smile


<3<3<3<3<3<3>

Do you wanna play a game?

Saw was ultimate win!!
Omg I have never been so scared in all my life, it was aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaamazing!!!!!!
yeah that's all I can say really =]

Oh and Hahahaha gutted you haven't gone on it yet .... Loves!

!X!XX!

Your the pill I never wanted to take ... <3

I love him ..... <3

I do not let the little thieves under my tightly buttoned sleeves

Happy Birthday Emmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmma =D

Hey guys.

This weekend has been lovely because I spent most of it with my mittens ... that sounds rather funny =]
Saturday I spent the day with my Gingey, it was so lovely to see him and spend some one on one time with him but you guys already know all bout saturday so moving on ...
Sunday was a Mittens day involving lots of laughter, excitement and planning ^^.
We then went to karaoke for a couple of hours before coming home and watching Family Guy as you do.
Today was brilliant, its Emma's birthday so she had a gathering at her house and I had the best time I was just basically laughing non stop throughout the whole day and crooning over the reaaaaaaaaally hot guy however that is irrelevant ;)

He was BUUUUUUUFF!!

The drive home. Ha what can I say >>>> MINI ... YELLOW CAR :D:D:D
I can't wait until tomorrow, Thorpe Park annnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnd Road Trip!!!!!

So Tomorrow I am meeting up with Cundy in Oxford, I'm thinking Noodle bar, shopping and hot chocolate. Great combo!

Chow for now
!X!XX!X!

Then lay your hands upon me now And cast this darkness from my soul.

=] Thanks to Lukey for the Title ...

Heylo people. Guess what its HOLIDAY TIME!!!!
Today was nice I had my individual tutorial with Judes and I came out feeling light because its nice to hear all the hard work you put in doesn't go unnoticed.
After my interesting and slightly embarrassing talk with Judy food was calling so town was the next place we headed of to ... not much else interesting to say really.
Saw my gingey today ... he has a girl friend now ... its fine

I am soooo glad we have broken up for Easter because I really think two weeks away from the drama is going to do me the world of good I also have some pretty neat things planned ^^

• Monday: Emma's birthday, Party/Child's picnic =]
• Tuesday: Ryan & Hair cut (yeah boi)
• Wednesday: Thorpe park <3>
• Thursday: Kwirsty's Birthday gathering.
  
• Friday: .... May have a date .... ^^
• Weekend: Usual shiz
  

Second week still isn't 100% sorted but I know I am seeing my vice guy =D

_______

Hmmm I'm feeling guitar ... chow for now guys !X!X!

The colors in my eyes will vanish when your face sets ..

Happy Birthday pretty!!!!!!

Sooo had an interesting week.
Went to Hannah's house last night with Anthony, Dave, Nath and Cundy hehe fun times eh eh Naked chef ^^

We all went to Witney today to record our radio play, what a road trip and the recording didn't go to bad either.

Me and Zoe have decided we are going to go to Alton Towers next week feel free to come with us=]We don't want to have another two boring weeks full of nothing .. Easter should be good.

That'll Be The Day is back in oxford next week.

****

Don't really know how I'm feeling this week, a bit muddled up.

Taylor day tomorrow =]

Chow for now
!!X!X!