Thursday 16 September 2010

It's Cookie-Ross.

I have stolen Ruth's blog... Mainly so she can have someone publish a decent post for once in her blogs history. Now if she would please put her breasts away for five minutes and let me type, I would be grateful.

In addition, as she pointed out, this will get me free publicity. So that means that today I have received a free Chinese meal and free advertising.

I am so freaking good at this “being a tramp” thing.

How the fricking hell are we all anyway?

Yeah? That’s cool.

How sorry.

I didn’t realise it was like that.

Restraining order? Shit.

This is my third this year...

Well you’ve all been rude and offensive today, like receiving a lick from a camel hooker, the kind of camel hooker that you’d find lying around the streets of Essex turning tricks for 5 pounds, just trying to pay her way through camel school and funding her crystal meth habit. Who are you to judge her? She was a consistent straight A student until she fell in love with an anti-Semite called Josef who got her addicted to the substance to keep her around. Still, being licked by such a creature is still offensive.

I got off track.

By the way, it was my birthday yesterday and not one of you people, that I have never met, bothered to congratulate me (if you did please disregard the following statement). What kind of strangers are you? A person you have never met has a birthday and you don’t get him a present. We will call it even if you buy me a drink.

For now, check out my blog, or I'll break your legs, (or Ruth's, it's upto yours).

http://cookie-ross.blogspot.com

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Posted by Ross “is just better than Ruth” Gilligan.

Yeah, I also created the logo at the top of the page; it is in first draft now, I will edit it soon.

What would a camel hooker do with 5 pounds?

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