Time together is just never quite enough ...

'Zoe Love'...
I'm thinking it should my very own brand. Do you think I could sell it? I don't mean sell myself. I'm no prostitute. But I mean like...'A Can of Zoe Love'.

I think it'd be freakin' awesome. It'd come in different flavours and I'd imagine it'd be glittery for some reason..

I don't know. Just a random thought I had. xD

All work and no sleep makes Zoe a random munchkin...

Zoe my dear you are the most amazing person ever.
I will never
ever
ever
ever
ever
ever
ever
find myself bored or tired of you.

I love you to pieces ... x x x x x

<3 !X!X!X!
mwahahahahahhaa

Your not the only one with problems and your not going to bring me down . NOT TODAY!!

Hey guys.
I'm extremely happy right now
I am actually putting myself first for once and it feels amazing.
I feel good about fringey and thats important.
I did miss her
So it feels good to be able to talk to her.

Show Wednesday so I am a tiny bit nervous but it should be good.
Snap is coming =D xx

I need Zoe Love
<3
Where has he gone .....???
!!X!X!X!X!X!

There Is Life Outside This Hell Hole And My Heart Is Not Your Home ... x x x

=D

!XX!!

Everything was beautiful at the ballet. Graceful men lift lovely girls in white. Yes,

"HI Everybody"
"HI Doctor Nick"
xD

Soooooo
Apologies for the lack of blogs this week.
I have been busy house sitting with Hana and it has been frigging awesome ... =]

Start of the week:
Not so good really, had a bit of a rude awakening and realized something I really was not ready for, however Hana had me over straight away and it was all good.

Tuesday:
Not much to say really had an interesting day at college, had radio acting, costume construction and gay gay gay business.
Then went to the Witney quiz which was good.
Came home to a house smelling of gas then nearly passed out ... not so good.

Wednesday:
Had an amazing nights sleep, probably due to me almost passing out =]
Enjoyed an English National Ballet workshop much more than I ever thought I would.
Had a lovely interview. Got the job :D:D:D:D:D:D
Came home, watched The Notebook and Had a good old cry .. =]


Thursday:
Had an amazing rehearsal for our show. Which is next week .... Aggggh!
Went to see Manon. It was beautiful =]

Friday:
Well thats today and since receiving a call from Judes telling me to let everyone Know I media is cancelled I have just planned to spend the afternoon with Emma ^^
Then I am seeing <3 Sock and <3 Mittens later .. woop! Also might be going to the pub with Emma, John and their friends later .. Ha! Thanks for reading this guys. It's nice to know I am interesting to somebody. Have a nice weekend. =D !X!XX!

LIfe is lonely in your heart ..

Ruth thinks people on television are way too pretty and attractive, thats not real life!

xxx

One is enough, the others are pointless memories that need to be forgotten ...

Hey guys

So yet again I have seen someone who used to mean a lot to me and realised that I need to stop blaming people for things that have happened.

I mean shit happens, Mainly to me it seems, however you just have to learn to try and get used to it or get over it. There are too many people in my life who have just walked in made a huge difference then walked straight back out again, and in a way that's fine because in life you will meet people like that. I guess after they have taught you what they are meant to they can just vanish, maybe you will see them again though.

Life is too short to bear any sort of grudge and I guess I have just finally realised. May be a little late.

Sock<3mittens<3glove

I honestly don't know what I would have done without you recently.

Zoe me and you are going to form an amazing friendship over the next year and I will never ever let that break or bend.

Ross, What can I say? I have only known you for what, 3 months? Maybe more.

There is honestly not one other person who can make me smile even if I feel like curling into a ball. How do you do it?

Thankyou guys

And thankyou everyone who has been there for me and trying to tell me things which sometimes I find hard to believe ... I love you all <3

Iv'e been kissed by the rose from a grave ...x

Ever have sooooooooooooooooooooooo many things rolling through your head you just can't sleep??



.. No, me neither ... =[

03:41!!

"To love someone is to see a miracle invisible to others." Francois Mauriac ... x x

Why can't people be honest

Kirsty I need to see you
Do You know how long it's been since we just sat down and had a good o'l chat
He is sorry
I'm sure he didn't mean to hurt you
However he needs to work to make this right
And he can't go taking you for granted, I won't let him .. I fucking love you.

"Some people walk through your life without touching it, whilst others leave footprints on your heart"

<3 Kirsty x x x <3

One thing I thank barratts for: Introducing me to you ^^

Every parting leads to new horizons .... <3Sock .. x

Emma I love you So much and I hate to see you like this.
I havent spoken properly to you in ages and it's really hurting me, I need to see my Emma

<3> Sock <3> Mittens <3 Glove <3

-------

I hope people appreciate how much I care for them because honestly some people I just could'nt live without.
I haven't a clue what I am going to do when Ry goes to Brighton, Who am I going to play games with and eat pasta with and make up songs and funny videos with ... =[

I hate CHANGE That fucking word!!!
It is the worst word ever invented.
Why do things have to change?
Why do people have to change?
I mean I'm not saying everyone should be neutral all the time, I just don't get why people change into completely different people.
I miss the person he used to be
I miss the person she used to be .. I could honestly say those two phrases forever because people are always changing.
And it always seems to be the time when I finally feel a connection with that person
Damn It!

I just wish, for once, someone would just give me a break hand me a nice guy who I find attractive and tell me to live happily ever after.
Cause I am just fed up of being walked over and made to feel this way.
Some people are so close to losing me and I don't think they seem to realise it, saddest part is I don't think they would even care.
I mean people say they do and people are there for you but when do you ever know if someone really truely cares?
I'm sorry to go on a bit of a wierd and highly emotional rant but I just ... I just want to be happy for longer then like two days, is that to much to ask? I just want to be able to be happy without someone or something ruining it. And I know "thats life" But fuck that! It doesn't always have to be.

She wrote that she missed me and that she cares for me.
To be honest I wish I could just hate her and cut her out of my life because then I wouldn't hurt.
But I can't
Because I do care for her
And I do miss her
And most of all I am scared for her, I don't want to see her hurt or sad.
I just don't know If I can be as close to her as I want to without getting hurt, and the olsd me would just think "if it makes her happy do it." Yeah, Ok, her happiness is so important but what about mine? Isn't mine important to?
So for once I am going to put myself first and not rush into this with her happiness the sole importance, I am going to take this at my pace and see what happens.
'Everything happens for a reason' ... xx

And as for you.
You already lost me
... xx

I wish my friends could be happy like ponies with pink and purple tails ... xx

The Universe Tends To Unfold As It Should

Heylo people

Little cook and shit cook are having a huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuge heart to heart so I thought I would write a blog considering I haven't written one for like ... 2 days?

I wish people could be happy.

Not that I'm saying I am all the time cause of course I'm not, I mean you can't be all the time, I know I'm not.

I miss Alice, lots.

I miss my nan lots.

Annnnd I miss summer and sunshine and happiness and old times when everything was OK and people could get along because everyone was just so happy it wasn't possible to be sad.

Some of the most important people in my life will be, to a certain extent, leaving my life =[

Turtle, Pidge, Little cook, Strings ... I just can't believe people are going to just walk out of my life when they have made such a big impact.

----

Oooo I have two job opportunity's  so I may have two jobs soon woooooop

=]=]=]=]=]

Safe! Its Jess,

Life is hard, and it throws all sorts of bullshit at you, but (without sounding like I'm preaching) Its also a Gift.

Don't waste your short time in this life wondering about the 'What If's' Just take a deep breath and do what you feel, not what you're told. Enjoy how brilliant you are and can grow to be.

People get so caught up in the negative side to life and forget to live. Shit happens, but then you learn, you grow and you move on with a better understanding of the world.

Someone like you is a rare find, so it's difficult to get your head around situations which are caused by people not considering the others around them... this is why you are so fantastic.

Smile Chick... Amazing things can happen.

PEAACCCE!

Little Cook.

My friends say it's ok somethings gotta change but iv'e got this feeling things are pretty much the same

Hey guys

Sooooo I had an amazing day with Tuti fruity lady .. she makes me sooo happy =]
Umm I don't really have much to say
I went for a jog today hehe I know me!!
I heard an amazing song yesterday thanks to my amazing miss Ralph, it's sooo good ... ^^

Kirsty's birthday doo tonight and That'll Be The Day WoOOOoop!!!
:D

hmmmm

I am really blank today ...

<3<3<3>

Maybe I should kiss someone nice
Maybe I should realise
That it's time to hang up my boots
And it's time to sit in my room
And it's time to forget about you

And there are flowers in my window
But they're all drenched in rain
'Cause I left my window open
When I ran to you again
My friends say it's okay, something's gotta change
But I've got this feeling that things are pretty much the same

And you're funny, you're handsome,
You're charming and you're tall
But you've got this habit of not knowing me at all

And there are plenty of reasons that we are not so close,
But there's one little reason that tends to stand out the most,
And she's pretty, she's perfect and she's not like me one bit
But I guess it must mean something when the two of you both kiss

And I'm crazy for thinking that you and me were good
It was that crap communication that I never understood
And it's boring without you, but I hate it when you're here
'Cause I've always been doubting everytime that you've stood near

And it seems to be my experience to always finish second place
And I know that I'm not good enough to keep up with your pace
'Cause I'm hopeless, I'm messy, and I'm a drama when I'm drunk
And I'm no good at cooking and I look rough when I wake up
And I'm pretending it's okay, when it is really not,
'Cause it turns out I miss you a hell of a lot.







By the way







I miss this >>>> =[ >>>>>>>>>>>

!XX!

And the songbirds keep singing like they know the score ...

Wooooop
Guess who Just finished her Performing Arts in Context ...
Yeah boi
ME!!!

...

So after helping my father with the gay ass gardening (sorry Zoe my dad is a douche, a very lovable douche however still a douche XD) I decided to go on over to Jess and Rory's flat and see how Buffy was doing .. ooo daddy just came home =]=]=]=]=]

Anywho where was I before I was harassed by daddy oh yeah sooooo I am a tiny bit worried bout Little cook she is a bit obsessed with Guitar hero, I mean maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaajorly she has been playing for three days straight and as I am sat here she is still playing ... oh dear!

********

I feel so wierd guys

I spent the whole day with Ryan and I have loawed everybody else who I don't need in my life because to be fair ..... fuck em!

I have had an epiphany people (ha ok maybe a bit exaggerated) But i am just done.

Life looks good

Open mic night was Buff ting, Luke's voice gave me tingles once again as usual annnd vice guy's hair looks yummy ... as does he =]=]

Sock makes me happy =D As does Mittens =D

Big cook Little cook welcome to our kitchen XD hehehehehe love you Buffy <3

So Kirsty's birthday should be good especially seeing as I am going to see That'll be the day before and even if the person I want to come can't it will still be good, at the end of the day its their loss my dad doesn't normally reach out to people like he has to this guy however I'm sure he will survive. 

I see Kirsty's being a night where everyone is going to get wankered good times!!!

Also Thursday I'm going back with Vice Guy soooo that should be interesting ;)

Anywho Now Shit cook is playing guitar hero so I'm going to go but I'm happy with this life and the other stuff that doesn't make me happy .... FUCK IT!!! 

It's not like I have to put myself in the position where I have to think about it.

Also the person I could end up losing, Don't really think he would care that much even though he says he does ... hm we shall see =]

Chow for now peoples ... If you see a sad blog tell me off .... mmmm carefreesmoking =]=]

!X!X!X!X!

Rosss I absolutely love you <3

Your worth far more than he’s shown you
So don’t ever feel down,
Never hide your head in shame

[You’ve done nothing
That we can blame]

Any accusations they throw
Should bounce off your heart
Because you’re worth more than they’ve shown you.
[Far more than they know]

[And its his loss,]
That he’ll never know your smile or touch
[And it’s his loss,]
When you’ll amount to so much
So hold your head high
And show them all why
[They were... always... wrong]
To let you get away.

I would show you all the colours That this secret world will hide

<3 Ross ... Lyrics are amazing!!

Hey guys

I wrote this earlier, its kinda how I have been feeling my whole life soooooo ..
Welcome to my monologue =]

You know when you were younger and you used to race all the children in your year on sports day? Well I always received the 2nd place sticker, You know the one; green, yellow writing, meant to make you feel like you have won even though you really haven't, well I forever wear that sticker. It's like ever since I have been put on this earth I have been born with that sticker etched on my skin, Someone one day just decided I would always be second best and for some reason now thats all I can be ....

Depending on what you guys say about that I may write the rest down ^^
Let me know what you think

I don't know what to say or do
I'm all confused
I'm ill
I'm stressed
I just want everyone to be happy however I know that is never going to happen well not any time soon anyway.

I found a picture today which I drew for my nan when I was like, I don't know 6.
It was like a hidden treasure because I turned it over and it had a note from her, yeah my nan.
Freaky or what?
Sooo I was reading it and smiling to myself when I realized she was actually writing about her illness, how had I completely over looked this letter until now? FATE!

Reading it for like the millionth time still doesn't make it any more real to me.

***********

Sorry my blog is quite boring and not that interesting however it is just my release, my way to let go without physically shouting and swearing at people.
I know it may be dull I just hope the people that read this understand that this is the way I am feeling and I think it is how i will feel for a while.

Thanks for being interested in my life peeps =]
!X!X!!

His smile holds it's own So caring and sweet But still he never sees, How her heart seems to beat

For some reason I have a huuuge love for this song at the moment ^^

I am so hungry and need to eat



************

YouMakeMeSmile .... xx Ross

His smiles not right,
But the jawline is there
He stands the same way
And has the same ruffled hair
For tonight she can take him,
To still the desire of her heart,
because she knows she can have him,
but it breaks her apart...

His eyes don't hold the blue
Not the depth that she needs
His souls is too shallow
As he looks and he pleads
He's not as perfect
As what she desires
But for now she shall take him,
In that bed they're both liars

His smile holds it's own
So caring and sweet
But still he never sees,
How her heart seems to beat
And how she breathes
Her love when he turns away
Or hears what she needs to say
And the others just don't compare

*These nights without him never cease
And the one night stands never ease
The feeling of loss never subsides
Every day a small part of her dies
But still she want's him to see her
for the woman she is
And hold her so tightly
And embrace that first kiss

His smiles not right,
But the jawlines there
He stands the same way
And has the same ruffled hair
For tonight she can take him,
And stay there for a while
She still lies beside him
lying through her false smile


<3<3<3<3<3<3>

Do you wanna play a game?

Saw was ultimate win!!
Omg I have never been so scared in all my life, it was aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaamazing!!!!!!
yeah that's all I can say really =]

Oh and Hahahaha gutted you haven't gone on it yet .... Loves!

!X!XX!

Your the pill I never wanted to take ... <3

I love him ..... <3

I do not let the little thieves under my tightly buttoned sleeves

Happy Birthday Emmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmma =D

Hey guys.

This weekend has been lovely because I spent most of it with my mittens ... that sounds rather funny =]
Saturday I spent the day with my Gingey, it was so lovely to see him and spend some one on one time with him but you guys already know all bout saturday so moving on ...
Sunday was a Mittens day involving lots of laughter, excitement and planning ^^.
We then went to karaoke for a couple of hours before coming home and watching Family Guy as you do.
Today was brilliant, its Emma's birthday so she had a gathering at her house and I had the best time I was just basically laughing non stop throughout the whole day and crooning over the reaaaaaaaaally hot guy however that is irrelevant ;)

He was BUUUUUUUFF!!

The drive home. Ha what can I say >>>> MINI ... YELLOW CAR :D:D:D
I can't wait until tomorrow, Thorpe Park annnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnd Road Trip!!!!!

So Tomorrow I am meeting up with Cundy in Oxford, I'm thinking Noodle bar, shopping and hot chocolate. Great combo!

Chow for now
!X!XX!X!

Then lay your hands upon me now And cast this darkness from my soul.

=] Thanks to Lukey for the Title ...

Heylo people. Guess what its HOLIDAY TIME!!!!
Today was nice I had my individual tutorial with Judes and I came out feeling light because its nice to hear all the hard work you put in doesn't go unnoticed.
After my interesting and slightly embarrassing talk with Judy food was calling so town was the next place we headed of to ... not much else interesting to say really.
Saw my gingey today ... he has a girl friend now ... its fine

I am soooo glad we have broken up for Easter because I really think two weeks away from the drama is going to do me the world of good I also have some pretty neat things planned ^^

• Monday: Emma's birthday, Party/Child's picnic =]
• Tuesday: Ryan & Hair cut (yeah boi)
• Wednesday: Thorpe park <3>
• Thursday: Kwirsty's Birthday gathering.
  
• Friday: .... May have a date .... ^^
• Weekend: Usual shiz
  

Second week still isn't 100% sorted but I know I am seeing my vice guy =D

_______

Hmmm I'm feeling guitar ... chow for now guys !X!X!

The colors in my eyes will vanish when your face sets ..

Happy Birthday pretty!!!!!!

Sooo had an interesting week.
Went to Hannah's house last night with Anthony, Dave, Nath and Cundy hehe fun times eh eh Naked chef ^^

We all went to Witney today to record our radio play, what a road trip and the recording didn't go to bad either.

Me and Zoe have decided we are going to go to Alton Towers next week feel free to come with us=]We don't want to have another two boring weeks full of nothing .. Easter should be good.

That'll Be The Day is back in oxford next week.

****

Don't really know how I'm feeling this week, a bit muddled up.

Taylor day tomorrow =]

Chow for now
!!X!X!