Thursday 17 December 2009

It's beginning to look alot like christmas . , .

I don't wanna be anything other than what I've been trying to be lately.

xx

Thursday 3 December 2009

See I'm Smiling . . <3

Ruth's confidence: Going up

Henry: .. Bearing

Ruth's father: One of the most amazing people.
I have never had someone believe in me so much (maybe Lyndall, they seem on the same wave length lol)

****

My mittens seems distant. Hope I haven't upset her.

xxx

Tuesday 1 December 2009

Daddy, daddy cooooooooooooool! . . x

I LOVE MY FATHER!!!

He makes everything better x x

Monday 30 November 2009

If it kills me ...

.......

Come home

xx

Happiness hit her ..

Hey guys.

I was just reading through my old posts and I realised something.
Things are soooooooooooo not getting any better.
More hurt.
More tears.
More dissapointment.

GOD!!!
I soooo just want a break.

****

Bekki is helping :)
I love her.
xxx

Wednesday 25 November 2009

I have confidence in confidence alone :D:D

OMG!!! TOMORROW!

I can do this.

xx

Monday 23 November 2009

Your just what I need.

OMG!!
Audition Thursday .. LIPA in a month.

Ok it all just got a little bit real.

Wednesday 11 November 2009

You might be just what I need, ,

UCAS IS DONE!!
Sent, finished, paid .. exciting.

So first show next week, um fun.
Kings of Broadway.

Many a song in my head after that such as:
"YOU WISH TO GO TO THE FESTIVAL"
"Cockeyed optimist"
"In a very unusual way"
"Whats the use of wondering"
"Ice .. cream"

Oh dear!

So Cyrano. Um. least said about that the better.

xxx

Tuesday 10 November 2009

Why?!

I just can't, o.k.
I have had it.
.. I literally have no words anymore.
STOP WALKING ALL OVER ME!!!

Sunday 1 November 2009

:(

Don't think I have ever felt so ill in all my life :(:(

Thursday 29 October 2009

I just havent met you yet . .

Ok.
I know you have said it to me over and over. But it's not getting any easier, there is no easier.

Saturday 24 October 2009

Your the star shining.

TVU is actually amazing .. I can't wait till september.
:D
xxx

Friday 16 October 2009

Tuesday 13 October 2009

For know my love. As easy mayst though fall a drop of water in the breaking gulf.

Basically.

I miss Ryan
I miss Em
I miss Greg
I miss Ryan!!!

Why an earth am I still in college, I should have left last year.
Not going to lie, the extra year has helped me so much in many ways, however I am ready for a challenge. I am ready for Uni!

I have UCAS down .. I just want to get my grades and Zooooooooooooooooom ... Vanish.
I used to live for college, it was the most amazing thing in my life. Right now I don't even understand why people bother.
Concentration is non existent never mind commitment.
Shnappi is right. I need to just believe in myself and battle through.
The drive is there.

This play will be good.
If people would just shut up and get on with it.

Come home . . x

Wednesday 30 September 2009

Could this be outa line >>?

Meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeh

I want to go.

Why can't things just be simple for once .. I know cause then life would be dull blah blah blah. Don't care. I just want thing's to be good.

He's gone guys :(

xxx

Saturday 26 September 2009

It’s so much easier to hide, When you can’t remember you regrets,

Dreading tomorrow but hey ho it had to happen sooner or later.

Please make me smile tomorrow Rossy :)
xxxx

Friday 18 September 2009

I guess I'll just wait and anticipate ..


Heylo everybody.
I'm sorry for my lack of bloging which actually makes sense lol. Promise more serious ones from now on.

So thats it.
Last day with Kirst and it sucks :(
I know I will still see her and shiz but it doesn't stop it from being difficult.

The hardest goodbye is still yet to come ...

"I'm sure this one goodbye could kill me."


Back to college monday :D:D:D:D:D!!
Thank god!
I have been soooooo missing college.
Nomnom college times :)

Miss my mittens quite a bit, however I am happy she is smiling and I will make sure she continues to smile even though things may become a little .. how do I put this, Low for her? Yeah, I would say low. But she will be fine as she has me, Ross & many other people who love her lots. Specially her lovely Stephen.

I best get back to helping my uncle clean the house and finalizing gay face's present .

Love to you all :)
xxx

Wednesday 16 September 2009

Bring on tomorrow let it shine ... (Fat chance) :(

I can't do it.
Freeze time.
Please!!!!!!!

Saturday 12 September 2009

Some songs just need to be written down ..

Time is gonna take my mind
and carry it far away where I can fly
The depth of life will dim my temptation to live for you
If I were to be alone silence would rock my tears
cause it's all about love and I know better
How life is a waving feather

So I put my arms around you around you
And I know that I'll be leaving soon


My eyes are on you they're on you
And you see that I can't stop shaking
No, I won't step back but I'll look down to hide from your eyes
cause what I feel is so sweet and I'm scared that even my own breath
Oh could burst it if it were a bubble
And I'd better dream if I have to struggle

So I put my arms around you around you
And I hope that I will do no wrong
My eyes are on you they're on you
And I hope that you won't hurt me

I'm dancing in the room as if I was in the woods with you
No need for anything but music
Music's the reason why I know time still exists
Time still exists
Time still exists
Time still exists

So I put my arms around you around you
And I hope that I will do no wrong
My eyes are on you they're on you
And I hope that you won't hurt me
So I put my arms around you around you
And I hope that I will do no wrong
My eyes are on you they're on you
And I hope that you won't hurt me

I'm a bad boy cause I don't really miss her, I'm a bad boy for breaking her heart .. <3

Something always brings me back to you.
It never takes too long.
No matter what I say or do I'll still feel you here 'til the moment I'm gone.

You hold me without touch.
You keep me without chains.
I never wanted anything so much than to drown in your love and not feel your reign.

Set me free, leave me be. I don't want to fall another moment into your gravity.
Here I am and I stand so tall, just the way I'm supposed to be.
But you're on to me and all over me.

You loved me 'cause I'm fragile.
When I thought that I was strong.
But you touch me for a little while and all my fragile strength is gone.

I live here on my knees as I try to make you see that you're everything I think I need here on
The ground.
But you're neither friend nor foe though I can't seem to let you go.
The one thing that I still know is that you're keeping me down

But you're on to me and all over me.

Something always brings me back to you.
It never takes too long.

Wednesday 9 September 2009

Sit there and count your fingers ...

I'm bored.
I have four choices ... I need three.
I still don't know the path though.
I am worried for my little sister.
I have a horrendous cold and a headache.
I miss college and many people.

Surprisingly ... I'm smiling .. :)

Everything will work out . x x x

Friday 4 September 2009

Wednesday 2 September 2009

Now I'm free!!

Thank you Joe Tagg .. :D:D

You can drive a person crazy you can drive a person mad .. Do do do do doooo!!

ONE DAY!!!!!!!!!!!!
AGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGH!!!!

Things are good.
I have let bygones be bygones.
No more selfishness.
Just good Hot chocolate and Rice eating times :):)
xxx

Monday 31 August 2009

I'm so excited .. I know I know I know I know I know I want you I want you :D:D

AGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHH!!!!!

xxx

Tuesday 25 August 2009

I swear to God I'll never understand How you can stand there straight and tall And see I'm crying And not do anything at all

I haven't really got anything to talk about .. the thing I want to discuss will just upset me so I think I will keep that at the back of my head .. 4 weeks.

I have many things to look forward to in these last 4 weeks of summer.
Saying my final farewells to everybody.
Flat night!!! Miss Soup sooo much.
Some rather eventful nights out .. :)
An amazing night in with my fave Ginger.
Mitten times .. because I have had them all summer and I am never going to be sick of them :D

I can't wait to get back to college.
Like Soup said, as long as me, him, Mittens, and Shortcake all stick together we can get through this final year without any problems. Screw the drama!

You know what, besides the obvious reason why my mind is a bit all over the place at the moment, I am actually smiling so much recently.
I have amazing friends and family who are always there for me no matter what.
My little sister is genuinely happy so I can't help but be happy for her.
Love you little sis. <3 :D

Thank you to anybody who finds my life interesting enough to read about :)
xxx

You and you and nothing but you ... Miles and piles of you Pushing through windows and bursting through walls. En route to the sky. And I...


The old with the new ... ^^

Guyfest was amazing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
And so was the lovely phone call I received last night .. love you Soup!<3

Tuesday 18 August 2009

Cross your fingers ... x

Soooo things ae cool.
I finally got my tattoo ages ago now lol.
My nanny's name perfect :):)

Things with Henry are still hard but they all make it easier for me ... Yays for them.
I miss Nathan a lot more then I thought I would .. :( Bad times.
Seeing Emma tomorrow yay!! Thought she had vanished of the planet recently Lol.
Seeing Kirst and Chris Thursday night :D:D
Guyfest Saturday yeah boi!! Annnnnd maybe something else but who knows :)

Liz day friday/ Harrie evening lol!!
Loves to you all ...

Find that thing that makes you smile ... x

Saturday 15 August 2009

I thought it was too good to be true, I found somebody who understands me, someone who would help me to get through, and fill an emptiness I had . .

I'm trying so hard not to think about it but it's becoming impossible.
I don't want to slip back into it but it is becoming way to easy .. Help me!

I love you so much .. please don't leave me.

Thank you .. You don't know how much you are helping me to just be me.

xxx

Saturday 8 August 2009

LOL!!! We all got our Junk .. and my Junk is you.

LOL!!!
Stupid Facebook thingy causing issues.



Friday 7 August 2009

Just set them up, just set them up, just set them up ... to nock them down .. XD

I love this week.
Jamz hehe
I get to see my Pidge soon, Yay!!
LFY >>> Amazing!!

Zoe gets Spoilt soon :)
Yay's
Miss Rory .. And Emma :(
See them soon
xxxxx

Apologies for the short blog.
Nothing to report
But
People
Make
Me
Happy
:)
ZOOT!!

We don't like you .. basically!!! :)

TATTOO!!!
YAY
YAY
YAY
YAY
YAY
YAY
YAY

love you Nanny!!!
xxx

Tuesday 4 August 2009

Look up the stars are fading ...

Meh ..
I really really really don't want you lot to go ...
Damn it
Why didn't I just do ND like Judy wanted ... ah well Everything happens for a reason.
I'm beginning to believe that reason is you two .. :)

Hmm ..
4 Weeks.
Love you x

Saturday 1 August 2009

Lets spend tonight on top of the world.... :)

BEST NIGHT EVER WITH AMAZING PEOPLE.
Two free drinks .. Check
Making hot new friends .. Check
Meeting Satine ... Check
Finally meeting and having the best time with Georgie ... Check
Spending the evening with everybody I love.. Check
Telling people things they wanted to hear a long time ago .. Check
Making sure Harrie had the amazing 18th she deserved .. Double Check

Nooooooooooow
To have the best morning/day after with my favourite kitchen utensils.

Nathan, Zoe and Ross ... Ae you ready to paint?? :):) HA :D
xxx

Thursday 30 July 2009

I don't wanna be sad, but these tears just keep on cascading ...

:(
I HATE GOSSIP AND IDIOTIC PEOPLE!!!!
If it's not selfish, spoilt, immature girls causing trouble its highly dramatized, nosy fucking parkers. ........ UGH!!! Just leave me be ...!!!!

I am so lucky to have you
You make it all easier
You both do
I love you, Sock and Mittens. :):)
I honestly don't tell you enough.

Your brave
I can see it
You can beat this
Please ...believe it.

Tuesday 28 July 2009

Pain: It comes In many forms .. This one is going to hit me deeper then I ever Knew possible .. again.

No Tattoo
Henry
Hospital

If I Could Take All The Pain Away
From Those Deep Sunken Eyes
You Know I would In A Heart Beat
But ... That Means Goodbye.

... <3

Agggggggggggggggggggggggggggggh I'm scared ..

So pain and me don't exactly go but despite that I am getting my tattoo tomorrow :):)
Harries birthday was amazing and it was so nice to see some people without all the drama for once :D

Love you Joannna!

xxx

Friday 24 July 2009

Cheesecake Loves Her Shortcake!!! <3









Love a dove dub her .. ^^ xx

Thursday 23 July 2009

So she said "just make me a new me" ..


So That's what I have done.
Ruth needed change.
Change is good.

Love you Guys ... x x x

Wednesday 22 July 2009

Crop circles in the carpet ...

OMG!!! I saw Imogen Heap's soundcheck ... She is AMAZING!!!!!!!

Jealous much :)
xx

Monday 20 July 2009

Ever heard of a free lunch ... ?

Well sucks to be you because me, spatula, jamz and Shit cook got to have one today it was freeeeeeeeeaking sweet as .. :)

Very good weekend.
Spent it with amazing people, and had the best 4 hour talk with brown bear .. Yay's.
Had a lovely day shopping today and I actually achieved all of Harri's presents YES!!!!!!
Hmm Good times.
Love to Mittens and her Pablo :)

"Please don't touch me understand, I'm scared. I need to go away"
"I know a place, a clinic .."
"A dentist?"

LEL!!!!! XD

xxxx

xxx

Sunday 19 July 2009

Ahahahahahahahahaahahaha ... A millie .. x

I just had the best evening with a certain special lad .. hahaha!
Can't wait to spend the evening with my two fave kitchen utensils tomorrow .. LYZOE

That is all ^^

xx&<3

Saturday 18 July 2009

I wanna live with common people ..

OMG Harry Potter is AMAZING!!!
Go and see it :D:D:D:D:D:D

Had an awesome night with Miss Mittens and little cook, we turned a rather boring night into an extremely fun night. .. I wont go into detail HAHA!!

Just waiting for Nathan to zoom over so we can have some fun card, drink, food inspired times :D

xxx

I'm happy thanks to one paticular person and as she said Loaw it!! ^^ Loooooooooooved .. x xx

Thursday 16 July 2009

I am covered in skin, No one gets to come in ... <3


Aggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggggh!!
Harry Potter tomorrow .. I wanna see it so bad.
I thought I had best write some part of my blog, considering I asked Zoe to type out my first one for me .. LOOVES .x

You know what? It's weird how when you leave the country for a while you start to realize just how important you really are to people, and for once you don't doubt that people love, respect and need you in their lives.
It's a lovely feeling.

Thankyou to everyone (you know who you are) that makes me feel amazing about myself, for everyone their comes a time when that isn't easy to believe. ^^


I love you all ...
Hahahhahahahaaha >>
It's No Lyn Wednesday.
Is Your Name Lyn??
Then Stay The Fuck Home ...

... Bitch.

ROFL . x


We Are Too Cool ... Love you Eggbert / Spatula! <3

Wednesday 15 July 2009

I'll Meet You There ... <3


I'm baaack! Yaaay!
It's been a long, hot, relaxing week; away from everything. & I loved it. :)
Now, I'm sat with Spatula / Eggbert / Mittens. (Yes, she has three names, because she's cool.) I would sit here and tell you everything I did, but it was too...spontaneous to structure.

All I will say is that I found a brand new, brilliant book. Made some new friends, and spent the amazing week with my Gingey. It was a perfect way to say goodbye. Hm..

Now Zoe's going to write something (even though she's the one who's been typing this out anyway...)

YEAH. Hi. ;D
Ruth / Ladel / Shelly / Glove is complaining and saying that she's tired as she's had a long time, which to be fair, is...fair...
8-)

& I shouldn't complain. She got me an awesome fan and a spinning Arial on top of about 342486793487639856 Smarties. :)

We're going to see Harry Potter tomorrow, which is awesome because Harry Potter is just..too cool.
Exciting timesss!

Anyway... uhh... yeah. This should technically be MY blog as I'm the one writing it..
LOVES.
Okay.

BYEBYEBYEBYE.

(Thank you, Mittens, for that wonderful blog right there. May I just add that I haven't been typing because I've been travelling all day
... & Zoe's better at it than me, but shh.. it's a secret. ;))

BLOG TOMORROW... when Zoe's around my house. :):)
LOVESSS.
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx


Smarties. :)

Tuesday 7 July 2009

Fearless on my breath ... x x

I have a way!!
Your right Hana .. Their not even on my mind


Personal Statement .. wow this is getting serious.

Spain tomorrow OMG!!!!

xx

Monday 6 July 2009

Now I'm speechless, over the edge I'm just breathless, I never thought I would get hit ...

SPAIN!!!! AGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGH!!!!!

Ice Age 3 tomorrow .. in 3D!!
I love this week.
Annnnd I love the people in my life .. they truly are the best.
They make all the stupid, annoying, self centered people sooo insignificant .. =]

xxx speechless xxx

Saturday 4 July 2009

See you breathe you I wan't to be you ..

I feel so untouched
And I want you so much
That I just can't resist you
It's not enough to say that I miss you.
I feel so untouched
Right now need you so much
Some how I can't forget you
Go crazy from the moment I met you ... <3

___________

Hm Should I try again??

I just don't know ... xx

Thursday 2 July 2009

Save tonight fight the break of dawn ...

Omg Fucking funniest night I have had in a looooooong time ...

The weekend was, not gunna lie, pretty shit!
But it was my beautiful zoe's birthday on monday =]=]
love her ........................................................ <3

Then had the best night with some awesome people at Philly's house.
Ace slap your face
Rice krispy cakes
Zambuka
Malibu
annnnnnnnnnnnnnnd a HUGE black HAIRY moth!!
Brilliant night ... :)

Thank you guys for making my night amazing .. x x x

Sunday 28 June 2009

Saying goodbye

Goodbye for the final time ... =[

Friday 26 June 2009

How do you wriiiiiiiite a song ....? Where is he? Getting Dizzy!!!

OMGIDDYGOD!!!

I have just had the best three days with my lovely Mittens.
I have honestly never had so much fun with one person, I mean I don't even know where to start. To quite one of the most loved musicals; "Let's start at the very beginning, a very good place to start .."

Wednesday.
I went into college to look at the ball photo's and talk to my Phillydelphia.
The Photo's are gorgeous, has to be said. I also got to talk to some lovely people who I haven't spoken to in a while. I got to say a proper goodbye to a few certain people who mean alot to me also, so that made my day that little bit brighter.
I then left college and went to grab Mittens.
Emily had and A2 drama piece which I really wanted to go and see so we swang by there before setting off. We were not dissapointed.

The road trip then began :D:D

We arrived at the campsite and I decided to take Zoe on a small tour around various places, fun as always. We ended up getting stuck in swings, slides and many other various children play items XD
Me, Zoe, my father and Pam then went down to the club and watched, probably the cheesiest entertainment show ever.... Hot Hot Hot!
Moooooooooooooooooving swiftly on.
Ha Gay guy!

Thursday.
Swimming ... that's all I have to say.
Me and Zoe had the best time in the pool.
:D
We were supposed to treck up to Western Super Mare but they weather was meh!
That night we played a quiz at the club, and came third. Not to bad if i do say so myself.

Friday.
Last Day =[=[
Swwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwimming .... again =]
This time however we had goggles .. and yes I did manage to break mine. I know DOUCHE!

Road trip time again =]
This time we did get the tinyest bit lost though LOL
Returned to Abingdon where we met Richard and had some fun times in the abbey, we then went to Richard's house with a couple of people and played some awesome games of Card's =]=]=]=]=]=]=]

Thankyou Miss Cox.
You have just made three days into three AMAZING Mittens/Glove days ... only Thing missing was sock =[=[ .. We are seeing him tomorrow though :D:D:D:DYAYS!!!!

Quotes.
"The Iron .... CHASITY BELT!!"
"HA it looks like your wearing men's underwear"
"Rory said come round at 8, Come round at 8, come round at 8!"
"How do you wriiiiiiiite a song"

"ME "So we are playing chace the Ace"
Rich "Riiiiiiight ... So why have I got the Ace"

Rich "Have a nice birthday"
Zoe "Yeah Cheers"
Me Yeah cheers"
Zoe "Yeeah cheers ... ugh I'm so stupid!!"


Thankyou
Love you .. x x x

Tuesday 23 June 2009

I need to forget you're troublems.

OMG!!!! Nooooooo

Firstly
I love Sock
He is Amazing, sweet, considerate and loyal and I miss him =[

Secondly
I love mittens
But everyone knows how much I love, and I feel it's getting to the point where I don't even need to say it because I know she knows already =]

Thirdly
NOooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
I miss you
Please, please pleeeeeeeeeeease don't hurt me again.

Love to Buffy .. Amazing
Fringey .. (Retract anything I wrote here .. it doesn't apply anymore)
Coxy .. <3 (ahhh the magic ..
Rory ...<3 Couple ^^)

----

I want my Mittens and I wan't you.

xxx

Saturday 20 June 2009

A million miles from here ...

That's it.
24 hours and it's all over.
Yeah I have the summer but it just isn't the same.
Fuck!
I have to realize what I want to do now ... I'm Officially an ND2 .. Shit!

Thursday 18 June 2009

1051200 minutes ... x x

Just 24 hours.

I'm not ready to say goodbye.

To any of you.

Or you =[

x

Tuesday 16 June 2009

Just never let them see you sweat ... Turn the other cheek. =] .. 90210!

I have had the best couple of days.
Yesterday Mittens treated me to a Chinese at oxy, it was yuuuuuuuuuuuummy!
We then had the best conversation, right Zoe ;)
The cinema was then calling our name sooo we went to watch one of the funniest movies I have seen in ages. Night at the Museum 2. Don't knock it till you have tried it. "And you, you are just trying to hard. I'm evil, I'm asthmatic, and whats with the cape, are we going to the opera? I don't thhik so ... XDXDXD
We also saw the most amazing machine which actually sells films. It was anazing!! Well it amazed me and Zoe anyway ...

So after seeing a hilarious film and buying 3 for £9 hehe we then decided to drive back to Zoe's and have an eventful evening of arcade games, retro styley.
On our peaceful drive home we all of a sudden get drenched by an unexpected downpour of rain which then turned into huge hail stones. We then noticed the road was almost completely flooded.
We then arrived home and played Wallace and Gromit which we completed =]
Street fighter and Alien storm were also on our list of games, as well as Sonic 2, Alex the Kid and Flicky.

I then recieved a random phone call from Mr Daniels inviting me over the flat so of course me and Zoe made our way over there. When we arrived we had an awesome fun filled hour, much worth the drive.

Fun times!

Today was just as good.
Me, Bradders, Phill and Rory went into Oxford looking for a dress, I must say we found a buuuuuuuuuuuff one. Well I think so.
The Noodle bar was then calling so we all went to have food, well apart from Rory who went to meet his Mrs.
We then met Nath and Jack for like 20 minutes, which was just enough time for Jack to get me discount on some gorgeous Purple heels =D
Bradders had to leave by 3 as she had the dentist soo we then made our way back home. Of course I had to pop in on Zoe and show her my dress. Both her and her mum were extremely impressed.

He he hope I haven't bored you all.
Talk to you all soon.

Will probably need somewhere to vent feelings considering what will be happening this week.
Chow for now guys
!X!X!

Saturday 13 June 2009

This is the way you love me, I'm not pretending, no hope no love no glory, no happy ending ...

So this is it.
No more days of endless Damien Rice.
Or Hana Banter
Or Cundy Cab's
Or Tutti Fruity singing day
Or Big cook and little cook ..... =[

This may seem so silly but it honestly feels like the end .. I'm not ready for that.
These people have all changed my life maybe some in better ways then others, specially one in paticular, how am I going to go everyday without seeing them?

2 years ... It has flown by.

I need to sort this out.

_____

You know what you two, you are the only people in my class I trust with my life, Honestly Thank you soooo much. I know you are always there for me, no matter what you hear or see.
I never want to lose either one of you. I would miss our cake making and BAMF talk to much =]

This isn't really making much sense today but I have so many things whirling round inside my head I just can't stop thinking about it.
Friday they are gone!

_____

Kiss me Kate was amazing and Anthony. OMG I will miss that guy.
He is going on to do amazing things and I no one day I will be down in London watching a show and I will turn to my friend and say "I went to college with the lead guy who is on stage. Anthony Illot"
I love you guys so much. Thank you for the past two years they have honestly been the best years of my life.

xx

Thursday 4 June 2009

Ok I understand that I live in the world but it doesn't mean I have to be involved in it all the time!!!!!

<3sock<3glove<3mittens<3

OMFG!!!

I can't stand this.

To whoever knows me and cares for me you know I am not like that, to whoever doesn't and want's to believe this complete and utter BS be my guest ...
I just can't believe how much of a two faced lier she is being .. It is actually like I'm back in school. She is actually bullying me =[=[

For anyone who cares. Please don't listen it really isn't true =[=[=[=[

Thankyou everyone who have been there, specially the people who had to face my bad mood through all the drama SMG<3 And To the people who had to stay up with me till like 3am while i cried .. E<3R I'm sorry to put you through that guys. But you! You lieing, two faced, attention seeking little girl can get out of my life. I really dislike you immensly. Sorry for the rant just please believe me when I say I have done nothing, and please don't let her tell you otherwise. xxxxx

P.s Thank you Fringey . (Retract anything I wrote here it doesn't apply anymore)
xxxxx

Tuesday 2 June 2009

Without you .. the stars gleam, the poets dream, the eagles fly ..

Hey peeps.
How is everyone feeling today?
I have had an interesting half-term spent with awesome people (jealous much)

However pretty boring day today. Two lessons. That's right TWO!
I know what your thinking "Omg all you do in your course is doss about, you don't even go in for a whole day". If you are thinking that you would be wrong, we are just not in as much as the FMP is of major importance and we are not in it.

Hmmm I can't wait for tomorrow. There is nothing better then spending a few days with brilliant people who make you feel on top of the world.
I am looking forward to kicking Zoe's ass at Mario Kart MWahahahaha!!!!!!
Bring it on Shortie....XD

I don't really have much to say apart from ...
normally my titles don't exactly mean much, they are just lyrics, poems or quotes I like, this one however does.

My life still goes on, so don't think you can be a part of it now. You missed out.

Chow guys
!X!X!

Saturday 30 May 2009

Is it a bird, is it a plane .. NO It's DIVERSITY!!!


OMG I LOVE YOU>>>>
I think me and Zoe have screamed our little hearts out and I can't contain my excitement ... they won... that's all I care about!!!!

I love time at Ross's with Zoe hehe more next week :D
I love my Best Friends .. x x

Monday 25 May 2009

I have often walked down the street before, but the pavement always stayed beneath my feet before.


Woooooooooooooo Chichester tomorrow with my phillydelphia ... =D

You say Britain I say talent!!!
Hahaha DJ talent Fail at life!!!!!!!!!!!

So plan for this week:
Today: I spent the morning with Ryan and then I saw Sock .. whipped his ass at mario Kart. Well tried.
Tuesday: CHICHESTER!!!
Wednesday: seeing my mittens xx
Thursday: Working .. =] Panda time.
Friday: Cinema with Ryan, Beth and Elliot ... Yay!!!


Chow
!X!X!

Friday 22 May 2009

Things can only get better ... now Iv'e found you .. ^^


Guys guys guys guys guys guys guys guys guys guys!!
Guess what??





My uncle and daddy bought me a ... RED KA!!!!
Omg.

<3<3

Chichester on Tuesday!! Omg actually can't wait .. and BBQ for pam's birthday with BFG and Strings ^^
xxxx

Wednesday 20 May 2009

My one hope was that I'd survive you .. <3 I'm just a notch in your bed post but your just a line in a song :D

Heylo
At this moment in time I am so unbelievably tired and moderately annoyed but hey ho FML! XD
The weekend was awesome.
Friday: Didn't really do much just helped my uncle mow the lawn ^^
Saturday: Had work at ADC woooooo!! Work is amazing =] Then went shopping with Ry.
In the evening I went to my friends birthday camp out and became extremely intoxicated =]
Sunday: I woke up and had to go to ADC again, but I didn't mind because I actually love it there. I then went to work for the first time at Snakes and Ladders, it was again another hit hehehe =]
Sunday evening I was invited to the flat. Woo. Me, Phil, Ror, Jess and Zoe all went to karaoke. And me and Zoe actually sang. "we're going down down in an earlier round, and sugar we're going down swinging."
We then carried on to read scripts, hear hilarious story's and watch Donnie Darko. Just basically have a cracking night.
Monday: Me and Zoe were woken up to Jack and Nathan Jumping on us ... fun.
We then all had gorgeous food made by little cook, laugh at Nathan fail on game cube, listen to FML and Sickepeidia and Wrestle. Yes that's right we do rule :D
Luke then joined in the merriment just as Zoe, Jack and Nathan were leaving.
I then proceeded to stay there another night. The fun never stops.
Tuesday: College. Then me and Zoe went to Harris, had amazing nachos. played cards and just had an amazing time chatting about our main topic and choreographing a dance for Harri's mum Ha! We then all went to the quiz in Whitney. To be quite frank me and Zoe failed Immensely.
By this time it was time for bed.
Today: Well I had inflatable fun ...... I didn't however have fun being the only person cleaning the costume cupboard. Gemma, Megan, Liz, Zoe and me are legends. End of.
I have also had fun today chasing down mittens and tackling her to the ground :D I love her sooooooooooooooooo much.... she is my best bezzie hehe. I feel like ten.

Sooo not much to say now.
I will continue to try and sort out my fucked up computer and atempt to learn my monolouge ha.

Chow for now
!X!X!X!X

Friday 15 May 2009

The stars gleam, The poets dream, The eagles fly <3

So Be Kind
And Don't Lose Your Mind
Just Remember
That I'm Your Baby
******
I Say I Wanna Commit A Crime
Wanna Be The Cause Of A Fight
I Wanna Put On A Tight Skirt
And Flirt With A Stranger

Ouuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuut Tonight

I Have To Go
Ouuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuut Tonight!
******

I Think They Meant It

When They Said You Can't Buy Love

Now I Know You Can Rent It

A New Lease You Are My Love <3

******

Theres Only Yes

Only Tonight
We Must Let Go

To Know Whats Right
******
Trusting Desire, Starting To Learn Walking
Through Fire Without A Burn

Clinging A Shoulder A Leap
Begins
Stinging And Older,

Asleep On Pins
******

We Could Light The Candle

Oh What'd You Do With My Candle?

******
How We Gonna Pay? How We Gonna Pay?

How We Gonna Pay? Last Year's Rent?

******
Five Hundred Twenty - Five Thousand Six Hundred Minutes <3
In Daylights, In Sunsets In Midnights, In Cups Of Coffee
******

Will I Lose My
Dignity?
Will Someone Care?

Will I wake tomorrow
From This Nightmare?
I have gone the tineist bit Rent mad We are doing songs from it next year and company =D=D

Then You leave a person dangling sadly
Outside your door,
Which could only make a person gladly
Want you even more.

******
Bobby...Bobby...Bobby baby...
Bobby bubbi...Robby...Robert darling...
Bobby, we've been trying to call you.

******
Make me confused,
Mock me with praise,
Let me be used,
Vary my days.
But alone is alone, not alive.

******
Marry me a little,
Love me just enough.
Cry, but not too often,
Play, but not too rough.
Keep a tender distance
so we'll both be free.
That's the way it ought to be.
I'm ready!


Hehehehehehe Exciting
!X!X!

Wednesday 13 May 2009

I will always see you as my cloud floating high above everything, Out of harms way ...

I am so worried about you
And scared for you.
I don't see how this is going to pan out.

I wrote this.
Let me know what you think x

So, like, how long has this ‘thing’ been going on for?
I mean it’s not like last time is it? Because you said, you said last time would never happen again remember, you said that it would NEVER happen again.
Do you know how worried I was about you? I mean I just walk in from college and your just balling your eyes out and dad’s just stood there holding a bag, and it’s full of food. Whole, UN used, not even touched food. Where an earth did you hide it? You would have thought the amount of times I have been in there to borrow stuff (starts to laugh) yeah your straightner’s were always a favourite aha woops, sorry.

(Pause)

I didn’t mean to do this to you; I mean like when you broke my bike and I called you a fat cow, or when you killed my goldfish. I mean you were 7 and how were you supposed to know that if you squeezed a gold fish as hard as you could it would explode and land on Grans head. I mean ... You wouldn’t.

(Pause)

Its just. I love you Luce. I hope you know that. I can’t watch you put yourself through that again.
So, what do you say, eh?
Come on, shake on it.
No crosses involved. Say it, No crosses. No crisses either. I know that one.
Right, so good.

(Pause)

Yeah good.

---

How can I help you?
Please tell me

xxx

Sunday 10 May 2009

Glugging southern comfort every night .... JKES!

He lost his dog
Lost his wife
Lost his carkeys
Lost his life.


So he slumps
In the parkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk

---


Wooooooooooooooo
This is ammmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmazing

xxxx

Wednesday 6 May 2009

Don't dream too far. Don't lose sight of who you are

Hm Is it weird to miss someone who you have only seen some of for about a month?
Is it possible to meet someone who can completely flip your world over?

Is it?

I don't know anymore.

---

Today was nice.
We started a new, interesting group dance to 'All That Jazz' and it looks like it should be rather good ... well really good if we all put our all into it.
Sexy might I add =]

I was amazed I was able to write a half decent Monologue, however I did write one and I must say it isn't to shabby :)
It makes me feel good.

I start work at Snakes And Ladders soon ... woop!
Annnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnd I have been offered a job at Abingdon drama club .. =]=]=]=]=]
Fate!
Thankyou Megan, Gemma and Judy Gray.

xxxx

Saturday 2 May 2009

It's not fair and it's really not OK ... You made your bed so sleep in it.

I LOVE MITTENS <3>
and Shit cook sometimes ... =[


I am having a pretty awesome weekend as usual because I have filled it with fun people.
Ryan
Harri
Anthony
Luke
Hana
Rory
Kerri
Kirsty
All of Abingdon drama club ... I love them 
Jess 
Emma =]
... and finally lilly Allen!! 
Sadly no ross =[

I love it when everyone can spend a day smiling.
Smile fringey =]

Soooo ... bye for now lol
hahahaha Tea.com 
mmm ZoeFaceTea xxx

Friday 1 May 2009

Look inside, Look inside, Your tiny mind. Then look a bit harder,



cause we're so uninspired.
So sick and tired.
Of all
The hatred you harbor.

Some people Just need to learn to grow up
I have new hair people =]
What do you think?
That is kinda the only thing I'm liking about me at the mo, which is isn't very good really.
I have a headache
A shit car
An Ill uncle
An angry father
Annnnd friends that sorta use me.

However I also have amazing friends sooo it balances out
Show was good and everyone enjoyed it

I really don't have much to say

Chow
!X!XX!

Thursday 30 April 2009

Time together is just never quite enough ...



'Zoe Love'...
I'm thinking it should my very own brand. Do you think I could sell it? I don't mean sell myself. I'm no prostitute. But I mean like...'A Can of Zoe Love'.

I think it'd be freakin' awesome. It'd come in different flavours and I'd imagine it'd be glittery for some reason..

I don't know. Just a random thought I had. xD

All work and no sleep makes Zoe a random munchkin...

Zoe my dear you are the most amazing person ever.
I will never
ever
ever
ever
ever
ever
ever
find myself bored or tired of you.

I love you to pieces ... x x x x x

<3 !X!X!X!
mwahahahahahhaa

Monday 27 April 2009

Your not the only one with problems and your not going to bring me down . NOT TODAY!!

Hey guys.
I'm extremely happy right now
I am actually putting myself first for once and it feels amazing.
I feel good about fringey and thats important.
I did miss her
So it feels good to be able to talk to her.

Show Wednesday so I am a tiny bit nervous but it should be good.
Snap is coming =D xx

I need Zoe Love
<3
Where has he gone .....???
!!X!X!X!X!X!

Friday 24 April 2009

Everything was beautiful at the ballet. Graceful men lift lovely girls in white. Yes,


"HI Everybody"
"HI Doctor Nick"
xD

Soooooo
Apologies for the lack of blogs this week.
I have been busy house sitting with Hana and it has been frigging awesome ... =]

Start of the week:
Not so good really, had a bit of a rude awakening and realized something I really was not ready for, however Hana had me over straight away and it was all good.

Tuesday:
Not much to say really had an interesting day at college, had radio acting, costume construction and gay gay gay business.
Then went to the Witney quiz which was good.
Came home to a house smelling of gas then nearly passed out ... not so good.

Wednesday:
Had an amazing nights sleep, probably due to me almost passing out =]
Enjoyed an English National Ballet workshop much more than I ever thought I would.
Had a lovely interview. Got the job :D:D:D:D:D:D
Came home, watched The Notebook and Had a good old cry .. =]


Thursday:
Had an amazing rehearsal for our show. Which is next week .... Aggggh!
Went to see Manon. It was beautiful =]

Friday:
Well thats today and since receiving a call from Judes telling me to let everyone Know I media is cancelled I have just planned to spend the afternoon with Emma ^^
Then I am seeing <3 Sock and <3 Mittens later .. woop! Also might be going to the pub with Emma, John and their friends later .. Ha! Thanks for reading this guys. It's nice to know I am interesting to somebody. Have a nice weekend. =D !X!XX!

Tuesday 21 April 2009

LIfe is lonely in your heart ..

Ruth thinks people on television are way too pretty and attractive, thats not real life!

xxx

Monday 20 April 2009

One is enough, the others are pointless memories that need to be forgotten ...

Hey guys

So yet again I have seen someone who used to mean a lot to me and realised that I need to stop blaming people for things that have happened.

I mean shit happens, Mainly to me it seems, however you just have to learn to try and get used to it or get over it. There are too many people in my life who have just walked in made a huge difference then walked straight back out again, and in a way that's fine because in life you will meet people like that. I guess after they have taught you what they are meant to they can just vanish, maybe you will see them again though.
Life is too short to bear any sort of grudge and I guess I have just finally realised. May be a little late.
Sock<3mittens<3glove
I honestly don't know what I would have done without you recently.

Zoe me and you are going to form an amazing friendship over the next year and I will never ever let that break or bend.
Ross, What can I say? I have only known you for what, 3 months? Maybe more.
There is honestly not one other person who can make me smile even if I feel like curling into a ball. How do you do it?
Thankyou guys

And thankyou everyone who has been there for me and trying to tell me things which sometimes I find hard to believe ... I love you all <3



Sunday 19 April 2009

Iv'e been kissed by the rose from a grave ...x

Ever have sooooooooooooooooooooooo many things rolling through your head you just can't sleep??



.. No, me neither ... =[

03:41!!

"To love someone is to see a miracle invisible to others." Francois Mauriac ... x x


Why can't people be honest

Kirsty I need to see you
Do You know how long it's been since we just sat down and had a good o'l chat
He is sorry
I'm sure he didn't mean to hurt you
However he needs to work to make this right
And he can't go taking you for granted, I won't let him .. I fucking love you.

"Some people walk through your life without touching it, whilst others leave footprints on your heart"

<3 Kirsty x x x <3

One thing I thank barratts for: Introducing me to you ^^

Saturday 18 April 2009

Every parting leads to new horizons .... <3Sock .. x


Emma I love you So much and I hate to see you like this.
I havent spoken properly to you in ages and it's really hurting me, I need to see my Emma
<3> Sock <3> Mittens <3 Glove <3
-------
I hope people appreciate how much I care for them because honestly some people I just could'nt live without.
I haven't a clue what I am going to do when Ry goes to Brighton, Who am I going to play games with and eat pasta with and make up songs and funny videos with ... =[
I hate CHANGE That fucking word!!!
It is the worst word ever invented.
Why do things have to change?
Why do people have to change?
I mean I'm not saying everyone should be neutral all the time, I just don't get why people change into completely different people.
I miss the person he used to be
I miss the person she used to be .. I could honestly say those two phrases forever because people are always changing.
And it always seems to be the time when I finally feel a connection with that person
Damn It!
I just wish, for once, someone would just give me a break hand me a nice guy who I find attractive and tell me to live happily ever after.
Cause I am just fed up of being walked over and made to feel this way.
Some people are so close to losing me and I don't think they seem to realise it, saddest part is I don't think they would even care.
I mean people say they do and people are there for you but when do you ever know if someone really truely cares?
I'm sorry to go on a bit of a wierd and highly emotional rant but I just ... I just want to be happy for longer then like two days, is that to much to ask? I just want to be able to be happy without someone or something ruining it. And I know "thats life" But fuck that! It doesn't always have to be.
She wrote that she missed me and that she cares for me.
To be honest I wish I could just hate her and cut her out of my life because then I wouldn't hurt.
But I can't
Because I do care for her
And I do miss her
And most of all I am scared for her, I don't want to see her hurt or sad.
I just don't know If I can be as close to her as I want to without getting hurt, and the olsd me would just think "if it makes her happy do it." Yeah, Ok, her happiness is so important but what about mine? Isn't mine important to?
So for once I am going to put myself first and not rush into this with her happiness the sole importance, I am going to take this at my pace and see what happens.
'Everything happens for a reason' ... xx
And as for you.
You already lost me
... xx

Friday 17 April 2009

I wish my friends could be happy like ponies with pink and purple tails ... xx

The Universe Tends To Unfold As It Should

Heylo people
Little cook and shit cook are having a huuuuuuuuuuuuuuuge heart to heart so I thought I would write a blog considering I haven't written one for like ... 2 days?

I wish people could be happy.
Not that I'm saying I am all the time cause of course I'm not, I mean you can't be all the time, I know I'm not.
I miss Alice, lots.
I miss my nan lots.
Annnnd I miss summer and sunshine and happiness and old times when everything was OK and people could get along because everyone was just so happy it wasn't possible to be sad.

Some of the most important people in my life will be, to a certain extent, leaving my life =[
Turtle, Pidge, Little cook, Strings ... I just can't believe people are going to just walk out of my life when they have made such a big impact.

----

Oooo I have two job opportunity's  so I may have two jobs soon woooooop

=]=]=]=]=]

Safe! Its Jess,

Life is hard, and it throws all sorts of bullshit at you, but (without sounding like I'm preaching) Its also a Gift.
Don't waste your short time in this life wondering about the 'What If's' Just take a deep breath and do what you feel, not what you're told. Enjoy how brilliant you are and can grow to be.
People get so caught up in the negative side to life and forget to live. Shit happens, but then you learn, you grow and you move on with a better understanding of the world.
Someone like you is a rare find, so it's difficult to get your head around situations which are caused by people not considering the others around them... this is why you are so fantastic.
Smile Chick... Amazing things can happen.

PEAACCCE!

Little Cook.

Wednesday 15 April 2009

My friends say it's ok somethings gotta change but iv'e got this feeling things are pretty much the same



Hey guys

Sooooo I had an amazing day with Tuti fruity lady .. she makes me sooo happy =]
Umm I don't really have much to say
I went for a jog today hehe I know me!!
I heard an amazing song yesterday thanks to my amazing miss Ralph, it's sooo good ... ^^


Kirsty's birthday doo tonight and That'll Be The Day WoOOOoop!!!
:D

hmmmm

I am really blank today ...

<3<3<3>

Maybe I should kiss someone nice
Maybe I should realise

That it's time to hang up my boots
And it's time to sit in my room
And it's time to forget about you

And there are flowers in my window

But they're all drenched in rain
'Cause I left my window open
When I ran to you again
My friends say it's okay, something's gotta change
But I've got this feeling that things are pretty much the same

And you're funny, you're handsome,
You're charming and you're tall
But you've got this habit of not knowing me at all


And there are plenty of reasons that we are not so close,
But there's one little reason that tends to stand out the most,
And she's pretty, she's perfect and she's not like me one bit
But I guess it must mean something when the two of you both kiss

And I'm crazy for thinking that you and me were good
It was that crap communication that I never understood
And it's boring without you, but I hate it when you're here
'Cause I've always been doubting everytime that you've stood near

And it seems to be my experience to always finish second place
And I know that I'm not good enough to keep up with your pace
'Cause I'm hopeless, I'm messy, and I'm a drama when I'm drunk
And I'm no good at cooking and I look rough when I wake up

And I'm pretending it's okay, when it is really not,
'Cause it turns out I miss you a hell of a lot.








By the way







I miss this >>>> =[ >>>>>>>>>>>



!XX!

Monday 13 April 2009

And the songbirds keep singing like they know the score ...

Wooooop
Guess who Just finished her Performing Arts in Context ...
Yeah boi
ME!!!

...

So after helping my father with the gay ass gardening (sorry Zoe my dad is a douche, a very lovable douche however still a douche XD) I decided to go on over to Jess and Rory's flat and see how Buffy was doing .. ooo daddy just came home =]=]=]=]=]

Anywho where was I before I was harassed by daddy oh yeah sooooo I am a tiny bit worried bout Little cook she is a bit obsessed with Guitar hero, I mean maaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaajorly she has been playing for three days straight and as I am sat here she is still playing ... oh dear!

********

I feel so wierd guys
I spent the whole day with Ryan and I have loawed everybody else who I don't need in my life because to be fair ..... fuck em!
I have had an epiphany people (ha ok maybe a bit exaggerated) But i am just done.
Life looks good

Open mic night was Buff ting, Luke's voice gave me tingles once again as usual annnd vice guy's hair looks yummy ... as does he =]=]

Sock makes me happy =D As does Mittens =D

Big cook Little cook welcome to our kitchen XD hehehehehe love you Buffy <3

So Kirsty's birthday should be good especially seeing as I am going to see That'll be the day before and even if the person I want to come can't it will still be good, at the end of the day its their loss my dad doesn't normally reach out to people like he has to this guy however I'm sure he will survive. 
I see Kirsty's being a night where everyone is going to get wankered good times!!!
Also Thursday I'm going back with Vice Guy soooo that should be interesting ;)

Anywho Now Shit cook is playing guitar hero so I'm going to go but I'm happy with this life and the other stuff that doesn't make me happy .... FUCK IT!!! 
It's not like I have to put myself in the position where I have to think about it.
Also the person I could end up losing, Don't really think he would care that much even though he says he does ... hm we shall see =]

Chow for now peoples ... If you see a sad blog tell me off .... mmmm carefreesmoking =]=]

!X!X!X!X!

Friday 10 April 2009

Rosss I absolutely love you <3

Your worth far more than he’s shown you
So don’t ever feel down,
Never hide your head in shame

[You’ve done nothing
That we can blame]

Any accusations they throw
Should bounce off your heart
Because you’re worth more than they’ve shown you.
[Far more than they know]

[And its his loss,]
That he’ll never know your smile or touch
[And it’s his loss,]
When you’ll amount to so much
So hold your head high
And show them all why
[They were... always... wrong]
To let you get away.

I would show you all the colours That this secret world will hide

<3 Ross ... Lyrics are amazing!!

Hey guys

I wrote this earlier, its kinda how I have been feeling my whole life soooooo ..
Welcome to my monologue =]

You know when you were younger and you used to race all the children in your year on sports day? Well I always received the 2nd place sticker, You know the one; green, yellow writing, meant to make you feel like you have won even though you really haven't, well I forever wear that sticker. It's like ever since I have been put on this earth I have been born with that sticker etched on my skin, Someone one day just decided I would always be second best and for some reason now thats all I can be ....

Depending on what you guys say about that I may write the rest down ^^
Let me know what you think

I don't know what to say or do
I'm all confused
I'm ill
I'm stressed
I just want everyone to be happy however I know that is never going to happen well not any time soon anyway.

I found a picture today which I drew for my nan when I was like, I don't know 6.
It was like a hidden treasure because I turned it over and it had a note from her, yeah my nan.
Freaky or what?
Sooo I was reading it and smiling to myself when I realized she was actually writing about her illness, how had I completely over looked this letter until now? FATE!

Reading it for like the millionth time still doesn't make it any more real to me.

***********

Sorry my blog is quite boring and not that interesting however it is just my release, my way to let go without physically shouting and swearing at people.
I know it may be dull I just hope the people that read this understand that this is the way I am feeling and I think it is how i will feel for a while.

Thanks for being interested in my life peeps =]
!X!X!!









Thursday 9 April 2009

His smile holds it's own So caring and sweet But still he never sees, How her heart seems to beat



For some reason I have a huuuge love for this song at the moment ^^

I am so hungry and need to eat



************

YouMakeMeSmile .... xx Ross

His smiles not right,
But the jawline is there
He stands the same way
And has the same ruffled hair
For tonight she can take him,
To still the desire of her heart,
because she knows she can have him,
but it breaks her apart...

His eyes don't hold the blue
Not the depth that she needs
His souls is too shallow
As he looks and he pleads
He's not as perfect
As what she desires
But for now she shall take him,
In that bed they're both liars

His smile holds it's own
So caring and sweet
But still he never sees,
How her heart seems to beat
And how she breathes
Her love when he turns away
Or hears what she needs to say
And the others just don't compare

*These nights without him never cease
And the one night stands never ease
The feeling of loss never subsides
Every day a small part of her dies
But still she want's him to see her
for the woman she is
And hold her so tightly
And embrace that first kiss

His smiles not right,
But the jawlines there
He stands the same way
And has the same ruffled hair
For tonight she can take him,
And stay there for a while
She still lies beside him
lying through her false smile


<3<3<3<3<3<3>

Wednesday 8 April 2009

Do you wanna play a game?

Saw was ultimate win!!
Omg I have never been so scared in all my life, it was aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaamazing!!!!!!
yeah that's all I can say really =]

Oh and Hahahaha gutted you haven't gone on it yet .... Loves!

!X!XX!

Tuesday 7 April 2009

Monday 6 April 2009

I do not let the little thieves under my tightly buttoned sleeves

Happy Birthday Emmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmma =D

Hey guys.

This weekend has been lovely because I spent most of it with my mittens ... that sounds rather funny =]
Saturday I spent the day with my Gingey, it was so lovely to see him and spend some one on one time with him but you guys already know all bout saturday so moving on ...
Sunday was a Mittens day involving lots of laughter, excitement and planning ^^.
We then went to karaoke for a couple of hours before coming home and watching Family Guy as you do.
Today was brilliant, its Emma's birthday so she had a gathering at her house and I had the best time I was just basically laughing non stop throughout the whole day and crooning over the reaaaaaaaaally hot guy however that is irrelevant ;)

He was BUUUUUUUFF!!


The drive home. Ha what can I say >>>> MINI ... YELLOW CAR :D:D:D
I can't wait until tomorrow, Thorpe Park annnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnd Road Trip!!!!!

So Tomorrow I am meeting up with Cundy in Oxford, I'm thinking Noodle bar, shopping and hot chocolate. Great combo!


Chow for now
!X!XX!X!

Friday 3 April 2009

Then lay your hands upon me now And cast this darkness from my soul.


=] Thanks to Lukey for the Title ...

Heylo people. Guess what its HOLIDAY TIME!!!!
Today was nice I had my individual tutorial with Judes and I came out feeling light because its nice to hear all the hard work you put in doesn't go unnoticed.
After my interesting and slightly embarrassing talk with Judy food was calling so town was the next place we headed of to ... not much else interesting to say really.
Saw my gingey today ... he has a girl friend now ... its fine

I am soooo glad we have broken up for Easter because I really think two weeks away from the drama is going to do me the world of good I also have some pretty neat things planned ^^

  • Monday: Emma's birthday, Party/Child's picnic =]
  • Tuesday: Ryan & Hair cut (yeah boi)
  • Wednesday: Thorpe park <3>
  • Thursday: Kwirsty's Birthday gathering.
  • Friday: .... May have a date .... ^^
  • Weekend: Usual shiz
Second week still isn't 100% sorted but I know I am seeing my vice guy =D

_______

Hmmm I'm feeling guitar ... chow for now guys !X!X!


Thursday 2 April 2009

The colors in my eyes will vanish when your face sets ..

Happy Birthday pretty!!!!!!

Sooo had an interesting week.
Went to Hannah's house last night with Anthony, Dave, Nath and Cundy hehe fun times eh eh Naked chef ^^

We all went to Witney today to record our radio play, what a road trip and the recording didn't go to bad either.

Me and Zoe have decided we are going to go to Alton Towers next week feel free to come with us=]We don't want to have another two boring weeks full of nothing .. Easter should be good.

That'll Be The Day is back in oxford next week.

****

Don't really know how I'm feeling this week, a bit muddled up.

Taylor day tomorrow =]

Chow for now
!!X!X!

Tuesday 31 March 2009

Happiness hit her like a great bullet in the head, struck from a great height by someone who should of known better ....

So I have recently found out that people do read my blog and many of them are finding they don't really understand me and my feelings at all.
Apologies if my blog has upset any of you however I'm not changing it as this is my one release and it is not going to be a simple thing to change what is going on in my head at the moment.

Speaking of at the moment i am really unsure of how I feel. I am all muddled and confused.
For some reason life just likes to throw so much shit at me and expect me to deal with it, I can't.

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Friday 27 March 2009

.. I want to master all kinds of kung fu, i wanna live inside a tiny zoo ... =]

So another day another blog.

The week has beeen looooong
I spoke
It helped
I still hurt =[

People are here though
It's much apreciated

Brownies, Saunders singing, seeing Dave, Mom and son, flapjack and the emperors new groove helps ^^

****

However I still feel like this ....

I wish to feel smaller
under your sheets.
I wish for the whole truth
every time you speak.
I'm thinkin' about how you care half as much for me
While I watch you arrive, smoke cigarettes, sleep...

And I guess it doesn't matter what I say or what I seem
You stuck what I felt for you in the pocket of your jeans
Ignoring me the morning after
isn't enough
and I swear I'm gonna cry.
I'm sick of tryin' to be tough.

And my blood won't stick
To the confines of my veins.
And your heart
Is gonna tear mine away.

And I wish to feel smaller under your hands,
though you seem satisfied as you slip mine
down your pants.
And I'm thinkin' about how you care half as much for me
While you lift up my shirt after asking politely.

And I guess it doesn't matter what I am or pretend to be
Cuz it's her you'll always love and it's her I'll always envy.
I want to end this now so dreams of you won't keep me up.
But I swear I'm gonna cry.
I'm sick of tryin' to be tough.

And my blood won't stick
To the confines of my veins.
And your heart
Is gonna tear mine away.

And it's hard to find
What I want
When it's buried beneath the biggest rock.
I could pay lots of money
To help lift it with machines
But I'm not sure you'd cooperate.
Not sure you'd come clean.

And I wish to feel smaller
under your sheets.
I wish for the whole truth
every time you speak.
And I'm thinkin' about how you care half as much for me
As I watch you arrive, smoke cigarettes, sleep.

And I guess it doesn't matter what I say or what I seem
You stuck what I felt for you in the pocket of your jeans.
Ignoring me the morning after isn't enough
and I swear I'm going to cry.
I'm sick of tryin' to be tough.

Yeah, I swear I'm gonna cry.
I'm sick of tryin' to be tough.

And my blood won't stick
To the confines of my veins.
And your heart
Is gonna tear mine away.

Is gonna tear mine away

.... Yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah ... =[